That Saturday Morning

                  Okay, so boarding school was my choice- I dreamt about it, craved it, infact,i prayed for it! And yeah, the Heavens granted my wish, the beginning of  SS1 first term met in boarding school, looking back now….I’D STILL GO BACK TO THAT HOSTEL…well, I just couldn’t display this optimism that Saturday afternoon tho.
                 Let’s take a walk down memory lane… I kept that Golden Morn for months, ignored all the temptations from my guys, fought the nights of total hunger, finding solace in the watery dinning beans, at the same time consoling myself with the euphoria I’d experience when I finally soak my g-morn. But even as I write tonight, I still cannot fathom “why” I chose that Saturday, of all the days in the week, I decided to pick that Saturday Morning; we had been up since 6am, cleaning the dorm for the usual Saturday Morning Inspection (if you went to boarding school you will grab abeg), working assiduously in the toilets- Oh yes, I was a ‘toilet worker’-, scrubbing, sweeping, at the same time stomaching the insults from those lazy corridor sweepers. Oh my, the hunger that morning was just unequivocal; it was like the warriors in my stomach final decided to play ‘hide and seek’. Anyways, I knew in my heart of hearts that it was time, the hour had come and it was an unmistakable sign from up above -a sign to finally ‘launch’ my dearest g-morn (after the inspection)
                 Fast forward to a few hours later, I stylishly ditched my main guys and made my to my locker to ‘codedly’ soak my something… humming happily to myself…suddenly! From nowhere the thunderous voice boomed…”ADEBO!!! .....NO BE G-MORN BE THAT???..... OYA REPORT FOR HERE... NOW NOW!!!”  (I don’t think I can ever forget the sound of Senior Jude’s voice)…and there and then, I knew the game was over…I still remember how my heart was in my mouth while walking through the  literal ‘valley of the shadow of death’ –from Room7 to Room2 ( Senior Jude’s Corner), holding ‘my precious’ sheepishly. So, Jude took his bowl oo… and poured almost 75% of the something!, kai! If looks could kill sha! The guy no even send me at all… Like the unseen forces dealing with me were determined to serve me a total knockout-another senior saw the exchange and decided that Golden Morn would be his lunch!.. that one too poured like 22% of the remaining 3%- do the math abeg. Naso e take happen oo… in less than five minutes, my heart was broken, expectations shattered, all that was left would not even feed my neighbor’s 6 month old baby- they hadn’t even rang the dinning bell before I was on the queue for the rocklike yam and watery stew they serve on Saturday Morning!
           It's  a boarding school thingy, so  go ahead, crack some ribs and tell a story of how you didn’t have it easy in the hostel…..or were you one of those chilled out folks who can never really understand how it feels to be a “boarder”?
   

            PS; Senior Jude is now an Engineer and I can bet My Words he cannot remember That Saturday  Morning  (I really hope he gets to read this tho)  
                       
                             See y’all next week …. #shalla

Fine-daughter-of-a-black-president

               So I woke up that morning oo,wondering where the night went as usual,made my traditional cup of coffee,no sorry,Lipton,picked my phone...searching for new topics to air my view on....well,the gods of gossip were in a good mood that morning...the first headline that graced my four eyes was the fact that one fine-daughter-of-a-black-president is now engaged to one of the men that fought alongside her father in World War II, honestly, i don't even know how that steaming cup of tea managed to miss my mouth (and don't you dare ask where it went to).

            Back to d matter,this lady is someborry that influenced many votes,how?....she just posted a couple of perfect selfies!...now that Big Daddy is in Abuja, she's slying us totally. In fact, i know a couple of hot blodded brothers who would call for a by-election (we voted under the influence of beauty abeg). Now, i'm here thinking of the one thing that made our fine-daughter-of-a-black-president (i no mention any name oooo) attracted to her ancestor when confirm,eligible bachelors like me and Brother Paul next door are just one phone call away?...abi guys don finish for area ni???..... Or was she never attracted to him, is it a question of force,or just a product of culture? Okay, what’s the problem with this baba sef, wetin im wan do again??.....i'm still asking myself this questions ooo, my people.

           Actually,i do not have anything against the culture sef,if you're 72 and you wish to get married to your 18 year old crush,go ahead....i'd still come and eat jollof rice at the reception jejely. All i'm doing is questioning the logic of it; not on the male's side but on the female's....how on earth would u want to enter a marriage where your step-daughters are in your mother's age bracket??....i wonder ooo.....and for the Baba's....well...if una finish all the fresh, young and fine babes before we reach there.....DIARIZGOD OOOO.....

     I am done talking abeg,before them talk say na my mouth them hear say make person no marry person...when my orente still dey use me play hide-and-seek....but lets take a moment and do the math of it... If our Grandfathers marry our classmates....who would we marry?......FIND X

                    SEE Y'ALL NEXT TIME....YOU  MAKE  LIFE WORTH WRITING FOR.... #shalla